Sunday, May 22, 2016

Chaddly, Miles, Kurt - (dis)honorable mentions

#DearTinderDiary:
I don't think these three deserve their own separate posts.
First: I matched with them, but we didn't meet.

Second: I have all their phone numbers and chatted a lot, but we didn't meet.

Third: My friend met two of them on other dating apps. She reports that they are not much to write home about. So I definitely didn't want to meet them now.

But just a brief description of each of them from what I remember:

Chaddly ghosted me after I asked whether he'd be interested in meeting.
Who in their 40s refers to himself as 'Chaddly' anyway?

Miles: told me all about where he works and his whole life story and part way through my trip to NY last Fall, he stopped messaging. I see him on Tinder still. I should just swipe right to stop seeing his profile pop up. Same with Chaddly.

Kurt: apparently is really only into Asian women and when my friend met him she knew it. (She's not Asian). What a douche.

So I would like to take this opportunity to thank Chaddly, Miles and Kurt for being pussies, flakes and/or douches and NOT pursuing me further. And my apologies to my friend. She took one for the team and meet a guy with an Asian fetish when she's not Asian. 😞

Still alive after Darryl and dodging bullets one swipe at a time!

xx,
mh

Darryl, 41

#DearTinderDiary
Okay maybe it's time to meet someone my own age. My batting average, points on net, shots on goal or whatever you call it isn't very good with younger men so far.

Let's try a different approach. Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is the sign of insanity.

Coffee meet during lunch. No phone numbers exchanged. Guy will come to me. He's actually older than me! Here goes nothing.

You know how some people can be completely different when you meet them in person? Meet Darryl.

He could easily have been a serial killing psychopath, or grew up in a cult, or was locked in a cage with no socialization as a child. Hard to tell.

Very strange man. I tried my best to make conversation but he kind of freaked me out. So I politely said goodbye to him and promptly deleted our match. Good fucking thing we didn't exchange numbers.

Well, that didn't work. But as the saying goes "if your Tinder date doesn't kill you, it just makes you stronger", right? Right?!

xx,
mh

Tom, 29

#DearTinderDiary:
Tom is Irish and new in town. I am such a cliche since any Irish, Scottish, English accent will most likely make my panties drop.  Panties. What a gross word. I digress.
All I remember about Tom was that he mumbled every word and being terribly North American I couldn't understand a word he said.  Underpants still ended up coming off. I probably misunderstood.
Oh well.
He was nice enough but there wasn't really much chemistry probably since I didn't really understand a word he said.

Moral of the story - I am not really sure since I barely understood a word he said!

xx,
mh

Sunday, May 1, 2016

Chris, 27? Ah who cares

Chris a very cute blonde with blue eyes. Mining engineer or something. He's from out of town, visiting his sister, bored of sitting on the couch, staring at her and her husband. So we meet late at a bar in his sister's neighbourhood.
I don't really remember what happened but he ended up at my place and had to do the walk of shame in the morning. Across a bridge in a town he's not familiar with. Meh, I wasn't gonna drive him home. He kept wanted to breathe in my mouth, it was fucking annoying.
#DearTinderDiary: I think for guys sex is like pizza. For me, quit breathing in my fucking mouth bye.

xx,
mh