tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5192599154006100132024-03-12T21:17:44.784-07:00Adventures of Mimimimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-57935050675027953242016-06-24T20:19:00.001-07:002016-06-24T20:19:01.916-07:00Tinder Experiment 1. Subject Ian, 40<p dir="ltr">I decided to do an experiment. Men do it all the time. Cast the net WIDE. I closed my eyes and swiped right to every single profile. <br>
Boom the matches popped up one after another.<br>
So now it was time to see what happens next. Could any of them actually have potential? Who would message me first?<br>
Subject #1: Joe, 38. I decided to tell him that I do not have sex on the first date. He agreed it would be strange to have sex on the first date. Then promptly deleted me. Okay whatever. <br>
Subject #2: Ian, 40. How come he's 11,000 kms away now? We get to chatting. This goes on for days and days.<br>
Turns out he was in town on a layover then back home to The British Virgin Islands where his family owns a resort!! Invite graciously accepted and my single girlfriends are welcome too.<br>
I excitedly tell my friends to pack their bags. Ian is not exactly my type, he's a little heavy but in a cute teddy bear sort of way. One of my friends says "you know you have to take one for the team, right?" <br>
No!! He's a nice man. He won't expect anything...will he??<br>
The daily chats get a little desperate, a little too much. He finally sends me a current photo.<br>
His profile said he was 40. By the looks of it, I am not sure if 40 was 10 years ago or older! Let's just say he looked like Santa on holiday 😔<br>
It took me 10 minutes of 'take care, okay bye, thanks, you too, best of luck, bye" to get rid of him on whatsapp. I didn't plan on blocking him. But his last message to me was "I will miss you". BLOCK</p>
<p dir="ltr">#DearTinderDiary it took me a while to shake the thought of taking one for the team with Bahama Santa. Blegh. No more experiments!</p>
<p dir="ltr">xo,<br>
mh<br>
</p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-26334291491234660572016-05-22T13:11:00.001-07:002016-05-22T14:46:35.413-07:00Chaddly, Miles, Kurt - (dis)honorable mentions<p dir="ltr">#DearTinderDiary:<br>
I don't think these three deserve their own separate posts. <br>
First: I matched with them, but we didn't meet.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Second: I have all their phone numbers and chatted a lot, but we didn't meet.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Third: My friend met two of them on other dating apps. She reports that they are not much to write home about. So I definitely didn't want to meet them now.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But just a brief description of each of them from what I remember:</p>
<p dir="ltr">Chaddly ghosted me after I asked whether he'd be interested in meeting. <br>
Who in their 40s refers to himself as 'Chaddly' anyway? </p>
<p dir="ltr">Miles: told me all about where he works and his whole life story and part way through my trip to NY last Fall, he stopped messaging. I see him on Tinder still. I should just swipe right to stop seeing his profile pop up. Same with Chaddly. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Kurt: apparently is really only into Asian women and when my friend met him she knew it. (She's not Asian). What a douche.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So I would like to take this opportunity to thank Chaddly, Miles and Kurt for being pussies, flakes and/or douches and NOT pursuing me further. And my apologies to my friend. She took one for the team and meet a guy with an Asian fetish when she's not Asian. 😞</p>
<p dir="ltr">Still alive after Darryl and dodging bullets one swipe at a time! </p>
<p dir="ltr">xx,<br>
<u>mh</u></p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-40846331840765389702016-05-22T12:53:00.001-07:002016-05-22T12:53:41.665-07:00Darryl, 41<p dir="ltr">#DearTinderDiary <br>
Okay maybe it's time to meet someone my own age. My batting average, points on net, shots on goal or whatever you call it isn't very good with younger men so far.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Let's try a different approach. Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is the sign of insanity.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Coffee meet during lunch. No phone numbers exchanged. Guy will come to me. He's actually older than me! Here goes nothing.</p>
<p dir="ltr">You know how some people can be completely different when you meet them in person? Meet Darryl.</p>
<p dir="ltr">He could easily have been a serial killing psychopath, or grew up in a cult, or was locked in a cage with no socialization as a child. Hard to tell. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Very strange man. I tried my best to make conversation but he kind of freaked me out. So I politely said goodbye to him and promptly deleted our match. Good fucking thing we didn't exchange numbers.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Well, that didn't work. But as the saying goes "if your Tinder date doesn't kill you, it just makes you stronger", right? Right?!</p>
<p dir="ltr">xx,<br>
<u>mh</u><br></p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-77708047624203839162016-05-22T12:39:00.001-07:002016-05-22T12:39:45.393-07:00Tom, 29<p dir="ltr">#DearTinderDiary:<br>
Tom is Irish and new in town. I am such a cliche since any Irish, Scottish, English accent will most likely make my panties drop. Panties. What a gross word. I digress.<br>
All I remember about Tom was that he mumbled every word and being terribly North American I couldn't understand a word he said. Underpants still ended up coming off. I probably misunderstood.<br>
Oh well. <br>
He was nice enough but there wasn't really much chemistry probably since I didn't really understand a word he said.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Moral of the story - I am not really sure since I barely understood a word he said!</p>
<p dir="ltr">xx,<br>
<u>mh</u></p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-16445550322883032252016-05-01T21:39:00.001-07:002016-05-01T21:40:11.863-07:00Chris, 27? Ah who cares<p dir="ltr">Chris a very cute blonde with blue eyes. Mining engineer or something. He's from out of town, visiting his sister, bored of sitting on the couch, staring at her and her husband. So we meet late at a bar in his sister's neighbourhood.<br>
I don't really remember what happened but he ended up at my place and had to do the walk of shame in the morning. Across a bridge in a town he's not familiar with. Meh, I wasn't gonna drive him home. He kept wanted to breathe in my mouth, it was fucking annoying. <br>
#DearTinderDiary: I think for guys sex is like pizza. For me, quit breathing in my fucking mouth bye.</p>
<p dir="ltr">xx,<br>
mh<br></p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-11719085127724285232016-04-02T23:57:00.001-07:002016-04-02T23:59:06.886-07:00Joseph 29, now 30<p dir="ltr">Dear Tinder Diary: <br>
Joe is bored on a Saturday night when we matched. I guess I was bored too. I basically had 2hrs of sexting with someone I just matched with. I am glad I start messaging right away now. Haha.</p>
<p dir="ltr">He just moved back home a week ago from work/school abroad. He's back at his parents' and doesn't have a car. I double check that he's 29 and not 16. Shit, I really don't want to go to jail.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Fast forward to weeks of random messaging. I finally meet him on his 30th birthday. Cute in person for certain, shame he's terribly boring. I gave him a handy for his birthday just to see what I would be getting myself into.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I heard from him from time to time but I wasn't dying to see him again like I have been with other guys. <br>
Fast forward (there's been a lot of that lately) to New Year's Eve 2015. I was with neighbours celebrating and we were well into the Veuve by now. Good ol' Joe messages me. I slept with him despite the fact he was still boring as ever but the champagne made him extra cute. He lasted about as long as the countdown 😕.</p>
<p dir="ltr">#DearTinderDiary: My one New Year's Resolution - don't have sex with boring guys no matter how cute. Lesson learned, sexting is easier to be good at than the real thing. </p>
<p dir="ltr">xx,<br>
mh</p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-8437736656385066212016-04-02T04:29:00.001-07:002016-04-02T04:34:31.776-07:00Seth and Summer are on a break<p dir="ltr">It was a completely unplanned night at The Senate with Pippa. I am usually the one who wants to go, and she's the voice of reason that tells me to make the boys wait! <br>
Tonight Pippa's buzz was gone early and SHE suggested we go. It was quiet, not a lot of patrons. I scan the room as we take our seats at the bar. Of all the bars in town, of all the random nights, who do I see on a DATE with someone else? </p>
<p dir="ltr">Adam! What is MY Seth Cohen doing with a different Summer Roberts! (Google The OC).<br>
It was super awkward even though we aren't in any sort of relationship. He never saw me, but Pippa and I spied on the whole date. 😟 It was surreal.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I randomly messaged him during the night. He did tell me that he was in my 'hood, but out 'with friends'. Hmm...I shouldn't even care. But of course I did, just a little.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I never brought it up. We still see each other from time to time actually. It was our 1 year anniversary from the day we met recently, <u>haha</u>. He'll always be my Seth Cohen 😊.</p>
<p dir="ltr">#DearTinderDiary, I have learned to not hate the player but hate the game. Besides, I would be a hypocrite if I made it a big deal.</p>
<p dir="ltr">xx,<br>
mh</p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-20247538709726039362016-03-30T16:57:00.001-07:002016-03-30T17:01:26.527-07:00Rob, 42<p dir="ltr">Finally a man closer to my age! Full head of hair, looks younger than his age, never married, no kids. We're both Cancers! Birthdays are only 1 day apart. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I broke my rule about going to a date's apartment upon first meeting. It never seems safe. He assured me he wasn't going to kill me, just wanted to listen to 80s music together. And that's all we did, continued our drinks, chatted lots and listened to whatever we could think of on YouTube. He walked me out, got me a cab and paid for it. It was a really nice date and we didn't even...</p>
<p dir="ltr">He's fun, we have lots to talk about, he's new in town having just relocated for his job. As we continue to see each other, I broke another rule - don't introduce Tinder dates to friends and/or mix the two worlds. But I did and he seemed to get along great with everyone. By this time we still had not slept together which was perfectly fine (I still have Walker Wednesdays 😉). <br>
This is the anti-Tinder via Tinder! Of course eventually we find ourselves there...he stops, says we shouldn't do this and maybe we should wait. Aw how sweet! 😍 I have a list of questions I usually ask when I first match and message someone. It generally gives me all I need to know to decide if I want to still meet this person. I guess I had forgotten one question before now being in bed together, P almost in the V...<br>
Me: When was the last time you were in a long term relationship? He hesitated, looked at me as though he was hoping I would never ask. Rob: Well I kind of still am. Me: Are you fuckin MARRIED? I asked if you were single before we met!</p>
<p dir="ltr">Turns out he's been engaged for years, they own a house together back home, he relocates for work, but she has no intentions of following him. WTF. <br>
I break another rule of mine - I continue to see him despite technically not being single. </p>
<p dir="ltr">It's Halloween 2015 by now, we hadn't seen each other in a month. but were both dying to. I go over to his place for drinks. He doesn't live in the best neighbourhood but it's one of up and coming places with nice apartments but not so nice at night. <br>
He's had this fascination with knowing my last name. Another rule of mine, I don't reveal my last name to Tinder dates. The one rule I didn't break with him. He said tell me what your last name is or get out. So I got dressed and left. He didn't walk me to the door, didn't get me a cab. I could barely utter a bye when I left. I had to WALK home because it was so late and no cabs in sight. Never heard from him afterwards. I thought perhaps it was the booze talking and I would at least get a text the next day. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Fast-forward to January 2016. Random text from Rob, to get my attention. I was slightly enraged, more intrigued. I lasted a day without replying. I asked him what he wanted, reminded him how he KICKED ME OUT never to be heard from again. He apologized, I told him it was too little too late. </p>
<p dir="ltr">I made a new rule - not to get sucked back in by bad experiences and giving them a second chance. I deserve better that. #DearTinderDiary: I broke some rules, I made some new ones.</p>
<p dir="ltr">xx,<br>
<u>mh</u></p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-58515703758376784502016-02-14T22:49:00.001-08:002016-03-29T17:37:22.947-07:00Walker, 28<p dir="ltr">Dear Tinder Diary: This is a first for me. Match, chat, meet all on the same day.<br>
We were quite clear of our intentions before we met so it seemed pretty natural to meet in person and just figure out if there was actual chemistry. He was very fresh out of a long term relationship and was looking to rebalance his life. He was interested in 'parallel readjustment' and I couldn't have agreed more.<br>
I had said that if we met and things worked out well, he could walk me home after drinks.<br>
This was last July and it was nice out so we met on a patio. I have to say I wasn't sure at first. Our conversation wasn't as dynamic or exciting as I had hoped. By now I think I had met enough guys to sort of gauge very quickly which direction things would go. <br>
But then we started talking food and when he said loved Dave Chang, that was the game changer. Then we both got really excited and couldn't stop talking.<br>
He walked me home.<br>
After he left, I casually suggested we make this a regular thing. He messaged me the next day to set a day. Walker Wednesdays was so much fun for weeks. I messaged when I returned from a trip NY in September. I brought back a treat from our beloved Dave Chang's Milk Bar. He gently broke it to me that he had met another girl and there would be no more Walker Wednesdays. <br>
Admittedly I was slightly heartbroken and turned Tinder off immediately. Okay I may have burst into tears in the office. I am such a sap. Thinking that a Tinder date/weekly rendezvous would become anything more than a few Wednesdays. I decided to take a break from meeting new men and if any current ones were interested, then I would see if I felt like it. It was a good time to slow down. </p>
<p dir="ltr">#DearTinderDiary: I admit I am a hopeless romantic sometimes. AND it's all fun and games until maybe you have to see the doctor about your lady business. #dontask 😞</p>
<p dir="ltr">xx (with a clean bill of health),<br>
mh</p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-76162790360003219542016-02-14T22:46:00.001-08:002016-03-11T21:59:26.938-08:00James, 30<p dir="ltr">Dear Tinder Diary: That stupid 50 Shades of Grey has changed the game completely. Probably even before the book and the movie. I realize I have vanilla sex. Pippa told me I have vanilla sex. There is a new sex generation that surprises me.<br>
Case in point, I match with James. I was very drunk when I initially matched with him and opened with 'Is that an umbrella or are you just happy to see me?'<br>
Terrible at best. But it worked. <br>
He gave me his number almost instantly. He texted admitting he was looking for casual fun. Noted. He asked me to send him sexy photos of myself. No. He asked if I like rough sex and was trying to convince me that cum on my face is good for the skin. Hot damn. This is not the flirting I am used to. Admittedly it didn't offend, I was enjoying it.<br>
I wonder how successful these men are though. I messaged him the next day never to hear from again. Fucking guy - you really think you're that good that I would just sleep with someone after a few text exchanges? Please. I bet it was just an umbrella in his pocket.</p>
<p dir="ltr">xx,<br>
<u>mh</u></p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-39751786020845833072016-02-14T22:45:00.001-08:002016-02-27T11:12:53.383-08:00Adam 27, now 28<p dir="ltr">Dear Tinder Diary: Does anyone remember The OC? I wish there was a real life Seth Cohen. I ❤ Adam Brody.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Adam was really awkward when we first met. Should I see this guy again? What's with me and these young boys? Not all of them are created equal. (He's not as 'mature' Tyler.) I'm waiting for him to admit he's not actually 27, but 17 and I will go to jail or get a call from his mother soon. <br>
He's like a puppy, lunging at my face with no warning. Get off! But in that way you can't just push a puppy off you without laughing and wanting more 😊<br>
He listens to The Smiths and Arctic Monkeys. Kings of Leon's first album was their best... They should have remained famous in the UK only. *sigh* He's my Death Cab for Cutie <u>song</u> 'Summer Skin' in real life. I like the freckles on his shoulders. His floppy brown hair. His ever changing dark hazel eyes that look into mine with silent comfort. His lanky 6'1" frame that can't seem to get enough of me. </p>
<p dir="ltr">We don't talk much when we're together even though it's quite frequent. I like him for his awkwardness and melancholy. <br>
I asked him to spend the night a few Fridays ago. He said he wasn't ready. I said it didn't mean he had be my boyfriend. It's just convenient for morning sex.</p>
<p dir="ltr">kisses,<br>
mh </p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-63710964722465873202016-02-14T22:44:00.001-08:002016-03-11T21:30:24.420-08:00Brad, 23?<p dir="ltr">Dear Tinder Diary: Has a woman of a certain age entered official cougar-dom if she meets someone who is below her Half + 7 rule? Asking for a friend.<br>
I had initial intentions of exchanging numbers with my favourite bartender at The Senate. Rewind back to the first time there and Pippa reminded us to focus on grown ass men our own age. <br>
Obviously we can change our own rules.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Besides, grown ass men my age are not much different from guys 10+years younger. Younger men are just so much cuter and eager...I digress.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So I decided to just throw it out there with my fav bartender. He wasn't biting (which in hindsight is a good thing).<br>
Cue the two guys who sit down next to Pippa and I. We had never seen them before even though they said they were regulars. Fast forward to musical chairs at the bar after a bathroom break, lots of rounds, chatting, and a kiss at the door on our way out.  Whaat just happened?! </p>
<p dir="ltr">I think his name is Brad.  Or is it Chad? Hmm. He was cute. Nice voice (I am a sucker for Clooney toned men.) 6'3" and all lean muscle. Totally not my usual type. He was a total hipster! There may have been some man-bun!, nose and lip piercings!, super cool tee and sweats and matching bicycle that cost way too much! I think numbers were exchanged, perhaps selfies taken?!</p>
<p dir="ltr">It always seems like a good idea to take a drunk guy home when you're just as drunk. But I always forget alcohol affects dudes a little differently - figuratively and, er, literally. He said he'd call on his way out. I knew he never would. </p>
<p dir="ltr">My time now is for fun and excitement. I've been reading into things too many times, desperately trying to forecast some type of relationship weather that I will never be able to predict. So why not just go with it? I confess I am not easy going at the best of times, and realize that this stress case should chill the fuck out and just do things for the moment. And so I did.<br>
I would like to thank Brad for a random night. No regrets and makes for perfect writing material. Pippa and I saw his friend a couple weeks later. Brad wasn't with him thankfully, but I told him that I say hi.</p>
<p dir="ltr">xx,<br>
<u>mh</u></p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-80405639601008287532016-02-14T22:42:00.001-08:002016-02-16T23:25:43.927-08:00Oh Steven-Peter <p dir="ltr"><br>
It's obvious that Tinder is incredibly shallow and vain. There is no pretending this is about swiping right because you like the look of their soul. Please. <br>
My friends have been around when I start the swiping game. They think some of the reasons I swipe left are hilarous. What? I don't actually look at their face sometimes! I am looking at their clothes, the friends they are with, where they vacation, if they are a Jays fan... (btw I don't care about sports.) <br>
My shallowness includes names. Sorry Steven-Peter, not gonna be screaming that out in bed with you. Swiped Left.<br>
Oh c'mon you wouldn't either!</p>
<p dir="ltr">kiss-kiss,<br>
mh</p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-66991441114025728582016-02-13T22:13:00.001-08:002016-02-14T22:40:16.498-08:00Half plus seven<p dir="ltr">#DearTinderDiary: I have a confession.  Well more like a revelation. Observation? Oh nevermind. Here it is: <br>
I may or may not have a tendency to be attracted to younger men.  *gasp* don't give me that look! I had no idea I was doing it on purpose! I just thought it was a coincidence...<br>
Can you blame me, really? Younger guys are so cute, stylish, fun, relevant, interesting.  And it's a bonus if they are dim AND cute. Mmm those are the best ones...<br>
And not all 27 year olds are created equal! And not all 40 year olds are created equal either (so I've been told since I have MANY more years til I am there...ha)  Nevermind that part. I have been very blessed with looking younger than I actually am. Merci mama et papa.  <br>
So that helps too. Hey we're not talking about some old botoxed mutton in sheep's clothing mmmkay? I work out! I moisturize! <br>
However, having said that a girl has to have a cut off. Thus applying the old rule -half my age plus seven years is the absolute youngest I can go (except that one time he said he was 23 but was really mature and the tequila kept reassuring me of that. But that's a whole other post...)<br>
So as to not give away my real age so easily, my number is +/- the 24-27 range.<br>
And god bless them for being eager and fun and they are everywhere 😘</p>
<p dir="ltr">xx<br>
mh</p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-22005452248607151092016-02-06T12:31:00.003-08:002016-02-06T13:41:22.251-08:00Tyler, 27<p dir="ltr">Hi I'm Tyler. Would you like to have a slice of pizza with me?<br>
It wasn't supposed to happen at all. I was supposed to meet my  friend after work for dinner on the other side of town. She wasn't supposed to suddenly fall ill and cancel. I wasn't supposed to have any energy to go shopping before heading home.<br>
But I did and he stopped me out of the blue on my way home, bargains in hand and belly grumbling.<br>
'You scared shit out of me' was the first thing I said. Not the cute-meet line they write in the movies for Rachel McAdams.   It's not everyday you feel a tap on your arm while you're walking home on a busy downtown street. He looked nervous, it took a moment to figure out I did not know this person. But then he smiled and it suddenly felt like I did. I instantly liked what was happening. <br>
He was incredibly charming, took charge of this random meeting, made me laugh out loud. I was thoroughly impressed after 20 mins. He left just as I was intrigued. Damn.<br>
I didn't think our number exchange would result in anything more than that laugh and slice of pepperoni.<br>
He texted days later and we met for drinks. Bright blue puppy dog eyes, lashes batted gave him whatever he wanted from me. Nice hands, soft deep voice, slow but even articulate words. He kissed me goodnight even though I felt shy and hesitant. It had been a while that a kiss made me tingly all over.<br>
I brazenly texted too soon after asking for more.<br>
I enjoyed weeks of incredible fun and had butterflies every time we were together. Then I got scared and ruined it all in one swift move. One very terribly timed comment ended it.<br>
That was a year ago now. Our eyes locked on the street again months later. We just smiled and kept going. I still think about him which I know is silly. But I thought he was sweet. Even though I wasn't. *le sigh*</p>
<p dir="ltr">#DearTinderDiary: I have learned not to be brutally honest at the worst time possible. (Those of you that know the storyare probably still shaking your head. I know, I know who does that? I did 😕)</p>
<p dir="ltr">xx,<br>
mh</p>
mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-49918865160931737382016-01-28T22:56:00.003-08:002016-01-28T22:56:59.559-08:00#DearTinderDiary: ENOUGH with Machu Picchu!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Oh mon dieu. Have you missed me? I have certainly missed all of you. Thanks for still hanging in there. This girl is sometimes a hot mess. Nothing tragic or traumatic. Honestly just First World Problems that I dare not complain about.</div>
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But I'll admit that this blogging business is difficult! It's hard to be cute and interesting and humorous and engaging and entertaining and committed....did I mention cute? It's like dating. Which I am STILL doing.</div>
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Please give me this post to rant about Tinder profile photos, and I promise to post about ALL the men (and some boys) that I've dated or who are on retainer. *wink*</div>
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Seriously ENOUGH with the fucking profile photos with Machu Picchu in the background!! (Pardon mon Anglais.) Doesn't ANYONE go ANYWHERE else on fucking vacation? How about an Eiffel Tower? I'll take the cheesy staged Leaning Tower of Pisa. How about Big Ben? Golden Gate Bridge? I'll even take a Brooklyn Bridge! I can't stand it. Does this say something about the type of men on Tinder? (Okay it probably says more about me, but I digress.)<br />
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As we all know, I have rules about swiping right (like) or left (nope). I am adding this one to my list: If you post a photo of you with this in the background, I WILL NEVER MEET YOU. Along with middle fingers, too many ballcaps and sunglasses, only blurry photos, ones with your WIFE...call me picky all you like. Don't hate the player, hate the game.<br />
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#DearTinderDiary: I think travelling is great, but how come men on Tinder only go to Peru? Is that weird, should I be worried, is there something I don't know? *le sigh*<br />
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By the way, I am shamelessly asking you to follow me on Twitter AND Instagram: mimiharveytoo<br />
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Kisses,<br />
mh<br />
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<br />mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-31764577828210619772015-08-03T22:25:00.000-07:002015-08-03T22:27:10.587-07:00Layton, 32Dear Tinder Diary: I think I may have dodged a bullet with this one. But is it weird that I am still a little intrigued?<br />
<br />
Layton had very nice photos posted. Obviously. Hot beach shorts, messy, dark, wavy hair. Perfectly imperfect scruff. <br />
His banter was flirty and forward for the initial match. I had to remind myself where I was meeting him and hell I was riding high on all the male attention. He promised pancakes in the morning. Oh my! Now remember I was new to all this and it had been a long time out of the game...I only know how to play coy and innocent at this point.<br />
<br />
He tamed it down to wanting to tickle me. Say wha? Now there's a first. I laugh now about how ridiculously into it I was. I detest being tickled. We made a plan to meet a couple of days later. He bailed. Now I kinda want to be tickled.mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-61079701349655730952015-08-03T15:55:00.001-07:002015-08-03T15:56:20.109-07:00Mike #2, 32Dear Tinder Diary: Not to be old fashioned, but shouldn't a gentleman pay for your dinner if he expects a bj for dessert?<br />
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Mike #2 is cute. He's funny. He's a big teddy bear. If I were a gay man, he'd be the perfect Bear and I would be his Otter. Except that I am not hairy which is good for a girl, not for an Otter, because I guess I would be more of a Twink, but nevermind, I digress...<br />
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We make a seriously great pub-night trivia team. He's a good kisser and can pick me up with one arm. That's kinda hot. But what happens when you've been out more than once and he's inconsistently paying/splitting the bill. I had to go back to the restaurant we went to and tip the waitress because the bill was split so awkwardly that we only tipped her a dollar!<br />
<br />
This bill paying made me wonder if he was no longer courting me and we were just homies going out for drinks? Well Mike, if that's the case then do you and your other bill splitting homies go home together and you expect a hand job from them? Yeah I didn't think so! It's not like he was some poor starving student. He has a really good paying job. I don't think it would really break the bank to pay for my $12 burger. And of course I can pay for my own damn burger, but that is hardly the point. I know it sucks for men in this feminist world to still have to be old fashioned sometimes. But can't I have a little nostalgia from time to time?<br />
<br />
Mike #2 messaged me three weeks after the last awkward date where we were too tired to finish sex. Blah, it was a pity fuck at best and I just couldn't be bothered to tell him that I wasn't into it. Maybe it was my shame sex too. Whatever.<br />
Oddly I felt guilty about just ignoring him. It's like you've seen my vagina, and I've seen your penis, we should have an exit interview at least. I got over the guilt pretty quickly and just never bothered to reply. I think he got the hint. And really, I don't feel that bad after all.<br />
<br />
Update: Mike #2 messaged me again about 2 months after I didn't reply, this time on Tinder. I didn't feel an ounce of guilt when I deleted our match.<br />
<br />
xx,<br />
mh<br />
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<br />mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-81727835899464404702015-05-25T22:05:00.000-07:002015-08-03T15:28:20.610-07:00Mike #1, 41<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dear Tinder Diary: I met a pretty cool guy. Those blue eyes. He's a grown ass man! Works in finance, can afford to travel, eat well, act responsible but knows to have fun... Pippa approves. He's divorced and has a child though. I never thought I would be into guys with previous lives like this. But you know, maybe it's better because he's learned something. He's had a proper adult life at least once already. This is working out pretty good so far.<br />
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Guys can be too eager too. I thought it was just girls who read into things too much and invent a future before anything has really happened. Cousin Poppy and I call it "crazytalk" (always one word, trademark pending).<br />
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No bae, after 4 dates I don't really want to talk about being in an exclusive relationship. We've been on 2 lunch dates during the week, 1 after work dinner date and 1 weekend date. And then you were gone on a business trip for two weeks. What makes him think he even deserves my exclusivity?? Sheesh. I'm a fucking catch! Some nerve thinking he can have me all to himself after some expensive sushi dinner and a walk at the beach? Mon dieu.<br />
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No bae, I never thought it was a good idea for you to delete your Tinder account after meeting me. We matched after one day of signing up! Talk about calling it with only a pair in your hand.<br />
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No Mike, we don't really get along as well as you think we do. It only seems like I'm interested and listening intently as you bitch about your finance job and rave about your love of our hometown hockey team. But I actually don't give a shit, I'm just waiting for you to shut up and ask me something so I can talk.<br />
<br />
And yes Mike, I already told you that I was dating other guys. I openly told you about sleeping with someone else as a courtesy and safety about my sexual activity. Don't then assume when I don't want to go out it's because I'm busy banging Mike #2 (next post, stay tuned!) like you passive-aggressively insinuate. Keep it up and you'll be Mike Who?<br />
<br />
And to be really shallow and blunt, I hate the tattoo of your kid's name emblazoned on your chest. I guess it shows you're a great dad, but I don't like staring at it when we do it. So keep your shirt on, thanks.<br />
Oh and all this talk about "Dad bods" being a new hot thing, yeah I might be into it if you're Leo DiCaprio licking Cristal off me on a yatch to Ibiza; but a rented apartment and some $10 wine isn't quite the same.<br />
<br />
Sorry bae, it's not you, it's me.<br />
<br />
Dear Tinder Diary: Grown ass men have their own set of flaws and it's harder to forgive because you'd think they learned a fucking thing or two about relationships and dating. C'est dommage. Now I know how guys feel when girls get all crazytalk on their asses.mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-24469131992058272312015-05-21T22:56:00.000-07:002015-05-21T22:56:58.719-07:00Pippa et moi<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Like two single, fabulous, I can't even, hilarious, fantastic peas in a pod. That is Pippa et moi.<br />
We met years ago back in uni through the guy I was dating. Soon enough my relationship ended with Whatshisname, but I got custody of the coolest girl in the world. We've been causing serious trouble ever since.<br />
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We drink too much and eat too many carbs. We drunk pinky-swore that we have to go out on random nights so that we can start meeting boys. Apparently they don't just show up at the apartment when we're having pizza and watching tv together. Duh.<br />
"Let's start getting into soccer and hockey. Bars with games on will have boys there." Pippa is the smart one. She's a Virgo.<br />
She is always right, talking about guys we want to meet in my apartment would not make them magically appear. We had to put on real clothes, close the Tinder app and go outside! <br />
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Shit. Soccer season doesn't start for months. There are no hockey games on right now. It's Monday night. Okay let's just go out anyway, after we finish the wine and pizza.<br />
<br />
Turns out it's more fun on nights when there is no game on and cute bartenders are not busy pouring drinks and would rather chat with cute girls like us! <br />
<br />
"Focus!" Pippa scolded. Did I mention she's a teacher?<br />
"Grown ass women like us should not be wasting our time flirting with 25 and 28 year old bartenders who are only being nice because we are their only customers!"<br />
"Our energy should be on grown ass men who sit on the same side of the bar as we do!"<br />
<br />
Damn her for being the voice of reason. But she did have a good point. There were some interesting men on our side of the bar that night, and the bartenders are the perfect conduit for starting up group conversations. We had some great fun that night, and I even got a number. I still have it posted on my fridge as a reminder that I still got it at a time when I thought I had lost "it" forever. <br />
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This was turning out to be a great idea. Pippa always has the great ideas. I usually make the great mistakes. It's a good match if you ask me.<br />
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xx,<br />
mh <br />
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<br />mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-73457200504682000072015-05-20T22:25:00.001-07:002015-08-03T15:25:30.251-07:00Billy, 38<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dear Tinder Diary:<br />
Why do men promise things like throwing me up against a wall and doing all sorts and then don't call to meet for coffee like they said they will?<br />
<br />
Mark, 46, recently separated, proposed such a wall throwing. He was eager to get back in the game. I didn't mind being part of that game. Why the hell not. But Mark stood me up. Never to be heard of again.<br />
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<i>You have a new match</i> notification popped up when I got home from said stand-up. (I purposely do not have the app installed on my phone. I would never get any work done if I did. Duh.)<br />
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Billy was only in town for the night. He was honest in telling me he was looking for a hook up. But he wasn't having much luck. I wasn't about to offer. Our banter continued and he asked if I was interested in meeting up, for dinner and continued face-to-face conversation. When one is stood up, one is very likely to agree to just about anything.<br />
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Driving to his hotel I became doubtful. What. The. Fcuk. It's Wednesday. He's on a layover. He was looking for a hook up. Dinner and chatting is probably not really what he wants. A wave of pathetic washed over me, I almost turned the car around. Almost.<br />
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Dinner was fun, conversation flowed. Billy says 'awesome' a lot. He has a nice smile. He's tall. You weren't there, so you're just gonna have to take my word for it. It wasn't what I feared. It was getting late and I drove him back to his hotel. I sheepishly sat in the corner of the room. Why do hotels always put that useless weird armchair in the corner? Doesn't everyone just end up sitting in bed to watch tv?<br />
<br />
He came over and kissed me mid-sentence...<br />
<br />
Not thinking I'd hear from him again (which was totally okay with me), we text almost everyday. We met 4 months ago.<br />
He comes to town sometimes, we've seen each other twice since that first match. It's fun but it gets complicated...<br />
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Dear Tinder Diary: I'm glad I got stood up. Sometimes you need to experience that. People have their reasons and it may have nothing to do with me. Mark probably would have thrown his back out before throwing me up against any wall.<br />
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xx,<br />
mh mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-48596199183028525392015-05-19T23:44:00.001-07:002015-08-03T15:22:58.955-07:00Tony, 41<br />
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Dear Tinder Diary:<br />
Will I get any matches? Alex's friend Michelle has been on 30 dates, but she's 7 years my junior and probably fun and cute all the time. Damn her. Fine, I'll try but I can't make any promises.<br />
<br />
I had matched with a few men very quickly. There was some back and forth messaging, most just fizzled out, but I was not discouraged.<br />
There was Josh, 38 that had potential. A non-local in the city for work (there are a lot of film industry guys where I'm from) and our exchange was going quite well and frequent. Just as we were about to finally meet in person, he stopped replying. Shame. I guess his wife found out, or he got deported.<br />
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Enter Tony, 41. My first real life Tinder meet! Truthfully, I meant to swipe left/nope but went right instead. Rookie mistake. He wasn't bad looking, just not my first choice, but his message banter was funny and I figured I had to start somewhere. So I agreed to meet him.<br />
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Tony didn't look exactly like his photos anymore. This might be Tinder but I never intended to guarantee sex on every date. Girl has got to have SOME standards, sheesh. I think/hope guys know that. There was no way in hell that was going to happen, but he seemed harmless, and I already put makeup on and left the house. It would be wasted to turn around and leave at this point. Oh and of course, rude.<br />
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He told me his story about being kicked out of a certain religion for sleeping with a married woman when he was 19 and she was 42. Cue for me to leave, right? I didn't! It was such a crazy story I couldn't just leave and not hear the rest of it. I mean, can you even make that shit up?<br />
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It just got better from there - his move to the city was more recent than he led on. He was living in a hostel (WTF) and had just gone for a job interview earlier but it didn't work out because there is "some issue" with his driver's license (double WTF).<br />
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When I finally got out of there, he asked me if he could see me again. I told him when he gets an apartment and a job, maybe (my inside voice said never). <br />
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Dear Tinder Diary:<br />
Is it okay for me to concede to a happy life alone with my herd of kittens?<br />
<br />
xx,<br />
mh <br />
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<br />mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-15879005158429277422015-05-19T00:09:00.000-07:002015-05-19T22:58:18.873-07:00Rewind it to the beginning<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
It was January, new year, new me. I was not going to resolve to do
anything different or new. It was just going to a be a new year of existing as far as I was concerned. I had just recovered from minor surgery and it
was hard to start anything, let alone think of men.<br />
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I was suffering from major cabin fever during recovery, so it was time to go outside. My lone, straight, male, little brother I never wanted, friend, Alex doesn't have a 9-5, so I knew he would be up for brunch. He's always up for brunch. <br />
Our time together is always full of stories. His mostly. He used to tell me about his Vegas exploits over bacon and eggs. I've always been entertained, indulged, never judgey. Why would I ever? He's single, young(er) than me, successful. And I hate to admit it, boy got some good game.<br />
Plus, despite all the superficiality and tales of bottle service and strippers, he's a really good guy and has always had my back.<br />
So now that the Vegas trips have changed to wine tasting in Sonoma with his girl, I guess he's looking out for me in a different way.<br />
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<br />
"Dude you have to get out there. Murray is a chump. You gotta go out and bang already."<br />
Charming. That actually means a lot from Alex. (And he doesn't really talk like that, but it might as well have been edited down to these three sentences anyway.) I knew what he meant, and he meant it from the heart.<br />
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"Oh mon dieu, I'm not ready!"<br />
The thought of it made me cringe. I had been cooped up in my apartment for several weeks, watching far too much television, failing miserably at Candy Crush (I'm so bad at it!), and thinking too much. I couldn't possibly inflict this person on anyone else anytime soon. I could barely handle myself.<br />
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Where would I even begin? Online dating of the past only got me so far, and I've been out of the game for...er...several years. Facebook barely existed back then, does anyone remember MSN Messenger? Apps? Smartphones? (And just for the record, it wasn't THAT long ago. Quit laughing. I'm not THAT old. Technology has just progressed very quickly okay...oh nevermind...I digress.)<br />
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"Look I set up my friend Michelle's profile on Tinder. She's been on 30 dates so far."<br />
Michelle's profile photo was pretty fine, I'd swipe right. Just sayin.<br />
<br />
Ah Tinder. Grindr for straights. It's cute at best. Everyone's dirty little secret. Is it really just for hooking up? Is that what I want right now? Ever? Mon dieu, I'm still not ready.<br />
<br />
Alex took a photo of me in the diner booth quickly before I changed my mind. We went outside in the park and took some more photos to look like I was interesting. He filtered the shit out of them. I let him choose which ones he thought were good. (By the way totally different than the ones I liked, but I'm trying to impress dudes here, so I trust Alex's choices.) I signed up, wrote one line about myself, hit save.<br />
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And so begins The Tinder Diaries.<br />
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Hope you enjoy. And if you don't, then fuck you, I'm gonna write about them anyway.<br />
<br />
kisses!<br />
mh<br />
<br />mimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-83572758003357729822015-05-17T21:58:00.000-07:002015-05-17T22:09:13.913-07:00Murray and Me <br />
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Reduced to an emoji.<br />
<br />
This isn't to dismiss how I feel, what we went through. But some time has passed now and I feel like I can finally share. It felt like there was a time that Murray and me could do no wrong. 2014 was full of highs and lows together. We survived our own health issues, career changes, family loss, distance; celebrated birthdays, holidays, big catches, domesticity. Things were moving forward fast and we were hanging on for dear life. We even decided to change our lives together. It felt like it was time.<br />
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He asked, I said yes.<br />
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Not long after it didn't feel right anymore. It wasn't the time. We were moving forward fast still, but veering apart. One of the hardest things to say goodbye to. My future with Murray, our lives together was not going to happen. I didn't want it. Murray didn't want it either. It wasn't the same anymore.<br />
<br />
I don't really know what happened exactly. All I know is that is was difficult, painful, sad, full of heartache. But this too shall pass.<br />
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Merci mes amis for sticking around. I haven't been myself for awhile. Sometimes it doesn't feel like I really know at all. But I am working on getting back to the me I once knew. And I think you'll like her again. She's got some pretty funny stories. And she really can't make this shit up. (And I'll stop referring to myself in the third person.)<br />
<br />
xo<br />
mhmimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-519259915400610013.post-81330148387187054022015-01-01T03:46:00.002-08:002015-05-18T23:54:50.291-07:00Welcome 2015!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My darling friends I have been terribly neglectful of you in 2014, haven't I?<br />
I do hope you'll forgive me. It has been quite a year of adventures, but I am afraid it was not the kind worth sharing. C'est dommage.<br />
<br />
But I promise that 2015 will bring many new exciting adventures that I do wish to share avec mes amies. I have missed you so and hope that you haven't forgotten me and will continue to share this journey avec moi!<br />
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Allow me to start with a salut to the new year, wishing everyone a healthy, joyful and peaceful 2015!!<br />
<br />
xx<br />
mhmimi harveyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10271516620212909756noreply@blogger.com0