"How do you not fall over?"

Mes amies! Oh how I have missed you so. Bad Mimi! Please forgive! I'm working on so many things right now, I don't know where to start! So how about we start...at the bottom? My feet!

I am 5’8” tall. My shoe size is 5 (Euro size 35, Asian size 24). Freakishly small, the bane of my fashion existence. I used to wear a size 6.5 shoe. I wonder, are my feet shrinking, or has the shoe industry started to re-label sizes to console the ego of the…ahem…large masses?

Regardless, it’s still the bane of my shopping existence. If I'm lucky that a brand even makes shoes that start in a 5, the one available is usually the one on display. *sigh* The one where the mate has been lying alone in a box in the back while its mate has been tossed and abused by the fondling, not-a-size-5-but-I'll-shove-my-giant-foot-in-it-anyway public. Ew.

This is by far my favourite shoe-fitting experience:
MH: "May I try this shoe in a size 5, s'il vous plaît?"
Store: "You are a size 5?? How do you not fall over when you walk?"
MH: "Probably something to do with physical equilibrium and your inner ear. Now take your minimum wage ass to the back and get me the damn shoes!"
Oops did I say that out loud? Mais non! A lady would never.

I tell you, shoe shopping has become a tragedy of constant rejection. It's not even like I'm picky! I'm a shoe whore. I will wear anything. As long as you have it in a size 5, please and thank you. I have a coveted pair of Ferragamo pumps that I scored for 90% off. And the main reason I bought them (besides the incredible deal), they fit like a charm. A size 4.5 charm. Yes! I said Quatre.demi!

Have I mentioned I love a bargain too? I don’t remember the last time I paid retail. Pshht. Retail is insulting. I know you are going to mark it down in a few weeks, and honestly, I might be precious, but I’m too cheap to be the first in town to own something. And besides, the hunt of a bargain is the best part. It’s exhilarating.
Murray once asked me: "Mimi, why do you like shopping so much?"
In order for his man-brain to understand the full spectrum of my bargain shopping fondness, I chose this analogy: "Murray, it’s like how you like to go fishing. Casting the rod thingy, waiting/looking for the bite, and then reeling it into the net thingy and you’re so happy when it’s a big one…"
He nodded. I digress.

Desperate shoe shopping calls for desperate measures and tactics. The shoes in the photo are my Converse All-Stars. Children's size 3. More than half off the price of adult size shoes and a perfect fit. What more could I ask for? A bargain AND a perfect fit! And that’s my secret – the kids’ department. Move over 8 year old, I believe I see a Stuart Weitzman Kids sandal in my size. No really, they are a perfect fit and just in time for summer.

xx,
mh