This isn't to dismiss how I feel, what we went through. But some time has passed now and I feel like I can finally share. It felt like there was a time that Murray and me could do no wrong. 2014 was full of highs and lows together. We survived our own health issues, career changes, family loss, distance; celebrated birthdays, holidays, big catches, domesticity. Things were moving forward fast and we were hanging on for dear life. We even decided to change our lives together. It felt like it was time.
He asked, I said yes.
Not long after it didn't feel right anymore. It wasn't the time. We were moving forward fast still, but veering apart. One of the hardest things to say goodbye to. My future with Murray, our lives together was not going to happen. I didn't want it. Murray didn't want it either. It wasn't the same anymore.
I don't really know what happened exactly. All I know is that is was difficult, painful, sad, full of heartache. But this too shall pass.
Merci mes amis for sticking around. I haven't been myself for awhile. Sometimes it doesn't feel like I really know at all. But I am working on getting back to the me I once knew. And I think you'll like her again. She's got some pretty funny stories. And she really can't make this shit up. (And I'll stop referring to myself in the third person.)
xo
mh
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